These are my options?

So we're in the 8th month of our search for the perfect house.

Why has it taken so long?

Let me show you.

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What's wrong with this picture?

It looks like someone threw up Pepto Bismol in a college dorm bathroom.

Fuzzy wallpaper in the foyer. We actually put an offer on this house!

Every room is stuck in the 70's! We put an offer on this house, too!

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy. Pastel yellow kitchen makes me want to hurl.

I think there's a skeleton in the closet.

Houston, we have a foundation problem.

Surely this is against some sort of building code.

Don't worry - each picture is from a different house. But that doesn't make it okay.